Lil’ Auntie Facts Sings “No Mask On My Face”
Lady Gaga released her chart-topping hit “Poker Face” in 2008. Listening to this early in the Omicron wave, I realized this was a perfect base for satirical lyrics about anti-vaxxers protesting outside hospitals while their unvaccinated peers filled ICUs inside. The stage name Lil’ Auntie Facts is appropriate on multiple levels.
For comparison purposes, my lyrics are shown below along side Lady Gaga’s and, of course, watch the YouTube video by clicking on the image above.
Trigger Warning for Video: Anyone with even basic musical training will be offended by Lil’ Auntie Facts’ “singing”. Please prepare emotionally, or forgo interacting, as required.
Original Lyrics,
“Poker Face” As written and Performed by Lady Gaga
Mum-mum-mum-mah
Mum-mum-mum-mah
Mum-mum-mum-mah
Mum-mum-mum-mah
Mum-mum-mum-mah
I wanna hold ’em like they do in Texas, please
Fold ’em let ’em hit me, raise it, baby, stay with me
(I love it)
Love game intuition, play the
cards with spades to start
And after he’s hooked, I’ll play the one that’s
on his heart
Oh, whoa, oh oh
Oh, oh oh
I’ll get him hot, show him what I’ve got
Oh, whoa, oh oh
Oh, oh oh
I’ll get him hot, show him what I’ve got
Can’t read my, can’t read my
No, he can’t read-a my poker face
(She’s got me like nobody)
Can’t read my, can’t read my
No, he can’t read-a my poker face
(She’s got me like nobody)
P-p-p-poker face,
p-p-poker face
(mum-mum-mum-mah)
P-p-p-poker face,
p-p-poker face
(mum-mum-mum-mah)
I wanna roll with him, a hard pair we will be (hey)
A little gamblin’ is fun when you’re with me
(I love it)
Russian roulette
is not the same without a gun
And baby, when it’s
love, if it’s not rough, it isn’t fun
(fun)
Oh, whoa, oh oh
Oh, oh oh
I’ll get him hot, show him what I’ve got
Oh, whoa, oh oh
Oh, oh oh
I’ll get him hot, show him what I’ve got
Can’t read my, can’t read my
No, he can’t read-a my poker face
(She’s got me like nobody)
Can’t read my, can’t read my
No, he can’t read-a my poker face
(She’s got me like nobody)
P-p-p-poker face,
p-p-poker face
(mum-mum-mum-mah)
P-p-p-poker face,
p-p-poker face
(mum-mum-mum-mah)
(mum-mum-mum-mah)
(mum-mum-mum-mah)
I won’t tell you that I love you, kiss or hug you
‘Cause I’m bluffin’ with my muffin
I’m not lying, I’m just stunnin’ with my love-glue-gunnin’
Just like a chick in the casino
Take your bank before I pay you out
I promise this, promise this
Check this hand ’cause I’m marvelous
Can’t read my, can’t read my
No, he can’t read-a my poker face
(She’s got me like nobody)
Can’t read my, can’t read my
No, he can’t read-a my poker face
(She’s got me like nobody)
Can’t read my, can’t read my
No, he can’t read-a my poker face
(She’s got me like nobody)
Can’t read my, can’t read my
No, he can’t read-a my poker face
(She’s got me like nobody)
Can’t read my, can’t read my
No, he can’t read-a my poker face
(She’s got me like nobody)
Can’t read my, can’t read my
No, he can’t read-a my poker face
(She’s got me like nobody)
P-p-p-poker face,
p-p-poker face
P-p-poker face,
p-p-poker face
(She’s got me like nobody)
P-p-p-poker face,
p-p-poker face
(mum-mum-mum-mah)
P-p-p-poker face,
p-p-poker face
(mum-mum-mum-mah)
P-p-p-poker face,
p-p-poker face
(mum-mum-mum-mah)
P-p-p-poker face,
p-p-poker face
(mum-mum-mum-mah)
Poker Face copyright 2008,
UMG on behalf of Interscope
Written and Produced by Lady Gaga and RedOne
John Mawdsley’s
“No Mask On My Face” Lyrics
As Performed by Lil’ Auntie Facts
Coro-na-na
Coro-na-na
Coro-na-na
Coro-na-na
Coro-na-na
I really hate masks like they do in Texas, see
No one can make me wear a mask by
decree
(I hate it)
Grandpa was shot, died for freedom,
got the Purple Heart
I won’t get the shot, got freedom to scorn
Fauci charts
Oh, whoa, oh oh
Oh, oh oh
Masks are too hot, I won’t get the shot
Oh, whoa, oh oh
Oh, oh oh
Masks are too hot, I won’t get the shot
Did my own re-research
Read every thing on cyberspace
(He knows-a nothing, buddy)
ICUs they are full
Filled with all my friends-n protest mates
(He knows-a everybody)
No-no-no mask, don’t want
no mask on my face
(Coro-na-na)
No-no-no mask, don’t want
no mask on my face
(Coro-na-na)
Sure, I might get corona, what you gonna do?
(hey)
Some ‘rona gamblin’ is fun, from me to you
(I love it)
Russian roulette
is un-vaccinated fun
And baby, get me
intubated, or soon I’ll be done
(done)
Oh, whoa, oh oh
Oh, oh oh
Masks are too hot, I won’t get the shot
Oh, whoa, oh oh
Oh, oh oh
Masks are too hot, I won’t get the shot
Nurse is kind, oh so kind
Why did I poke her in the face?
(Please cut off his oxygen)
I’m hacking and can’t breathe
Spreading my virus all over the place
(Mask the holes on your dumb face)
No-no-no mask, don’t want
no mask on my face
(Coro-na-na)
No-no-no mask, don’t want
no mask on my face
(Coro-na-na)
(Coro-na-na)
(Coro-na-na)
I am selfish, pretentious, and now infectious
I’m not bluffin’ this is not fun!
I be dyin’ because of my
vaccine denyin’
Like eatin’ raw chicken valentino
Or gamblin’ in crooked casino
I admit this, admit this
My chances are not marvelous
Did my own, re-research
Read everything on cyberspace
(He loves Fox like nobody)
I’m hacking and can’t breathe
Spreading my virus all over the place
(Mask the holes on your dumb face)
Nurse is kind, oh so kind
Why did I poke her in the face?
(Please cut off his oxygen)
ICUs they are full
Filled with all my friends-n protest mates
(He knows-a everybody)
I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe
Buy a ventilator, just in case
(He’s got sick like nobody)
Should believe, should believe
Wise words that came from Fauci’s face
(Anthony should get a Nobel)
No-no-no mask, don’t want
no mask on my face
No-no-no mask, don’t want
no mask on my face
(Cut off his oxygen)
No-no-no mask, don’t want
no mask on my face
(Coro-na-na)
No-no-no mask, don’t want
no mask on my face
(Coro-na-na)
No-no-no mask, don’t want
no mask on my face
(Coro-na-na)
No-no-no mask, don’t want
no mask on my face
(Coro-na-na)
No Mask on My Face lyrics copyright 2022,
John Mawdsley
