“Freedom Convoy” Reality Check, Time-Travel to 1864
Chad, one of the leaders of the “Freedom Convoy” time-travels in his semi-truck to 1864 in an attempt to convince Canada’s founding fathers that the British North America Act (BNA Act) needs to be modified to suit his purposes. This is best viewed on the YouTube video link above (the founding father has a bang-on Scottish accent), but the script follows below.
Founding Father (FF): I stand before you today to continue our discussions on joining our beautiful provinces under one great dominion to be named Canada. So, lets get back to work. We were last finalizing basic democratic rules and regulations …
HORN BLAST – Image of Chad’s Semi-Truck
FF: What the hell was that?
Chad: (bursts through door) Stop everything, eh! I am Canada’s ruler from the future, from the year 2022 and I demand you make changes to the constitution!
FF: Actually, the British North America Act, the BNA, the BNA Act.
Chad: Whatever. Why do you talk so funny, eh?
FF: Why do you?
Chad: (shrugs)
FF: So who let you in? And who are you?
Chad: I’m Chad.
FF: Hello Chad, “ruler from the future”. What is that time machine you arrived in?
Chad: That’s my semi-truck, eh.
FF: A semi-truck? Well Chad, I have to say this is a little odd. You come back 150 years in time and don’t even bring a complete truck, you arrive with just a partial-truck?
Chad: A semi-truck.
FF: (shakes head, rolls eyes) Whatever. Right, so we’re semi-busy here Chad, but let’s see what you can add to our confederation.
Okay, where was I?
Obviously, our dominion will be based on the principles of democracy. Elections will be held and those with the most votes hold power until the next election. Ya-Da, Ya-Da, Ya-Da … the usual democratic boiler plate.
HORN BLAST – Image of Chad’s Semi-Truck
FF: (annoyed expression, looks at Chad) WHAT?!
Chad: You need to add something else, something that allows a few dozen people to overthrow the government by parking their trucks and honking horns until the elected Prime Minister resigns.
FF: (confused look) Is that right, Chad? How did you get elected Prime Minister?
Chad: Ah, well, ah, I am n-not exactly Prime Minister, not yet, eh …
FF: Oh for God’s sake … “not yet”?
Chad: Well, I am the leader of the 10% of truckers who are not vaccinated, and their supporters.
HORN BLAST – Image of Chad’s Semi-Truck
FF: (angry look) Bloody Hell, Chad! I’m not really in the mood for your noises!
Chad: Listen, we are forcing the PM to step down and then, I guess, I will be Prime Minister, eh? So, we need you to put in the NBA Act so there can be smooth transition of power to me.
FF: B-N-A Act. Are you serious, Chad?
Chad: Ah ya, eh. My followers totally support me.
FF: Do you hear yourself Chad? I might just totally burn your partial-truck to the ground and make you walk back to the future.
Chad: Semi-truck.
FF: Are you only semi-conscious, Chad? So – just to clarify – you’re saying there should be a provision that states election results stand, but only until a few people with large machines park them and blow their horns until the elected officials resign?
Chad: (snaps his fingers) You got it! Glad I got here in time.
FF: (sighs) Look, Chad, we are building Canada and there will be flaws. For instance, the future Residential School system and genocidal treatment of First Nations is both shocking and reprehensible. History will judge us harshly.
Chad: Well, History is going to see us as heroes.
FF: (laughs) What? Are ya sure about that?
Chad: (looks confused)
FF: Chad, we’re trying to build a democratic country here. And you arrive in a stupid partial-truck but full-load of self-indulgent and anarchist horseshit!
HORN BLAST – Image of Chad’s Semi-Truck
FF: Oh for God’s sake! What is matter with you? You know, Chad, your lack of knowledge of basic democratic principles is a bit troubling. What did they teach you grade six? Piss Off!
Chad: But what do I say to my supporters, eh?
FF: Tell them to look up Democracy in a dictionary. Have you heard anything we have said, Chad?
Chad: (turns to leave, pauses) Hey, do you have any Confederation Merch?
FF: Merch? What?
Chad: Never mind. Just tell me where is the closest diesel station?
FF: Are you joking? Diesel engines won’t be even invented for another 30 years!
Chad: (looks scared and leaves)
FF: (shakes his head, rolls eyes)
