My Parents Died 1 Year Apart. I Wasn't Prepared For The Way Grief Showed Up.

Non-Fiction | February 15th, 2025 | By John Mawdsley | Originally Published in HuffPost

The author's parents in their early 20s, before they married, circa 1953

Dad is lost in the assisted-living lodge, again. We find him in the stairwell. Last week, he left a tap running and water flowed into lower apartments. He walks into other residents’ suites without invitation. He pees in his closet. Dad’s name is placed on an urgent waitlist for a nursing home and a space opens. Mom asks if the move can be delayed until after Christmas, but the answer is no, because the spot will be given to the next person. His intake is set for Dec. 23. It’s Christmas and Dad is moving to an institution.

Dad finishes his blueberry pie and doesn’t know it’s his last meal at the lodge. He sets down his fork and Mom, in her wheelchair, rests her frail hand on his.

Mom copes in life with cheerfulness, even when there’s no reason for it. This was probably learned when she faced — as a 7-year-old — the unimaginable grief of her mother’s sudden and unexpected death.

Please read the full article on HuffPost’s Personal Column here.

The author, left, with his father at the elder's 70th birthday celebration.

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