Endla Gilmour (1939 – 2002)

My late Auntie Endla, who passed away 20 years ago this week, could make me laugh like nobody else. She is so missed.

This is an essay I wrote in memory of Endla, which was published in the The Globe and Mail’s “Lives Lived” column in July, 2002.

Endla Gilmour – Wife, mum, sister, auntie, nurse, philanthropist.

Born July 11, 1939, in Tallinn, Estonia. Died March 2, 2002, in Toronto of cancer, aged 62.

Endla Gilmour was a joy to be with. She possessed a sense of humour and fun, made those around her feel important and loved, and had a gift of contributing to others. Endla had a rare appreciation for life, possibly the result of several dramatic childhood experiences.

Near the end of the Second World War, in 1944, when Endla was five years old, many Estonians were fleeing their country. She, along with her parents Elise and Eduard Miil and her older brothers Ants and Tony, attempted to escape; they tried to cross the Baltic Sea to Sweden on a fishing schooner that, unbeknownst to them, was not seaworthy.

The boat began to take on water and it soon became clear that they would not make it to Sweden. They were rescued by the German Navy and were towed back to an Estonian port. The next morning, only the masts of the schooner remained above water.

The family was soon onboard one of two German troop transport ships that were headed to Germany.

Later, young Endla witnessed the other ship being hit by a Russian submarine; it sank with most on board perishing.

Endla and her family were eventually transported to a camp in Czechoslovakia but escaped a year later, in May 1945, by walking 400 kilometers to the American-controlled area of Germany. Endla was sick with scarlet fever during the trek and had to be carried most of the way by her mother.

They lived there as displaced persons until Eduard left in early 1948 for a job with Ontario Hydro in Rolphton, Ont. Later that same year, the family joined him in the one-room house he had built for them.

Having had these experiences as a child and having escaped death several times, Endla knew she was extremely fortunate to live in the safe and bounteous world of Canada with its endless opportunities. Consequently, she lived her life as a blessed one might: with a sense of joy and fun and a commitment to others.

Endla seemed to have a bottomless well of energy to give to her career as a nurse and nursing teacher, her church and to those less fortunate. Endla always made people laugh and loved to give hugs, often saying, “Let me clutch you to my bosom!”

Endla and her husband, John, met in 1962 at a university dance. Endla needed to make a phone call and approached John, who she had never met, to borrow a dime for the call. John said yes, but only if he could have a dance with her. That evening it became clear to Endla that she would marry this man and they were wed less than two years later.

John and Endla had two children, Julie and Kevin, who live their lives with Endla’s sense of joy and fun.

Endla could see the humour in almost anything, even in the terminal nature of her cancer. At a family dinner last year, with Julie and her husband, Jeff, and Kevin and his wife, Talyn, the discussion came around to the possibility of grandchildren.

Endla stated, with a twinkle in her eye and her loving smile, “Ah yes, I would love to see my grandchildren, but don’t let the fact that I am dying influence you in any way.”

Although Endla’s life was shorter than she and family and friends wanted, it was short in time only—her life was full to the brim with love of family, love of friends, joy, fun, kindness, hugs, laughs and contributing to the lives of others.

Endla will always be with those fortunate enough to have known her, and she will continue to make us appreciate, as she did in life, the value of our own lives.

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Endla, thank you for your gift of smiles and laughter. I know you continue to smile and laugh with us.
Love and hugs,
“Nevue John”