Creative Writing – Episode One: Pivoting to Romance from Finance
I am taking creative writing classes and this is the first in a series of pieces to document my creative writing efforts. Hopefully, an improvement can be observed over time. Although I like to think big, it is unlikely that the word ‘Mawdsley’ will ever occur in the same sentence as these words: Atwood, Grisham, Ondaatje, or Rushdie. Except for that previous sentence.
I am on the steep part of the learning curve. At the bottom of a cliff, really, without any sight of an inflection in the curve above. This is part of the appeal, I suppose, so much to explore! It is possible that I am slightly up the curve after my career as a financial analyst, where I wrote many technical reports. Look at how John Grisham turned his career as a lawyer into an extremely successful career as an author of legal thrillers. Why couldn’t I make a similar career-pivot, but into romance novels?
“But John,” you are thinking, “that makes no sense, there is nothing in common.”
Well, first of all, the words ‘romance’ and ‘finance’ end with the exact same four letters. Also, I have heard, writing romance novels can be financially rewarding. But don’t let me merely ‘tell’ you this, let me ‘show’ by sharing my romance novel’s first draft, in its entirety:
Working Title: My compounding interest in your assets
Chapter One
“Oh Ms. Voluptuouskaya, your Financial Leverage and Fixed Assets are heaving more vigorously than the broader Utilities sector! And, oh my, your dividends are so steady and reliable, yet perky.”
Chapter Two
Enrique! Stop! This is soo wrong! Do you forget I am your Russian tutor and about twice your age? However, in the interest of full disclosure, you are completely a man in so many ways! For instance, your Compounded-Cash-Flow-per-Share-Growth is drawing me, closer … inevitably, to mount a hostile takeover on your Initial Public Offering!”
Chapter Three
“Excuse me, but your one-on-one tutoring sessions are actually on Tuesdays,” said the other student, sitting in the next desk. “But since I am here, I feel this takeover will create excessive investment risk and portfolio volatility for shareholders. For example, Ms. Voluptuouskaya, your husband might display volatility with your lack of Fidelity bonds.”
The End
See … totally works, right? Well, okay, it’s a just a start and those metaphors probably need some attention. I will wait to see what Harlequin suggests … if they ever get back to me.
Apparently, there is still lots to learn. A proper romance story requires much more, including: character development, dramatic arcs, scene construction, dialogue, subtext, setting, actual sex scenes, plot, and conflict. I have also been told that a study of poetry is helpful, but …
I doubt that, actually
In junior high school I hated poetry
It was totally not me
As a idiot teenager, you see
I thought poetry was for someone with an ovary
Not appropriate for me, a little shit with tiny testes
Who failed English as an unsatisfactory exam testee
I complained and teacher got up in my face and all testy
Although, I have to agree
My early attempts were very ugly
But that was before I could grow a poet’s goatee
I guess we’ll see…
